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Spousal Support Group

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 8:34 am
by Brewnadin
Rem I think your idea was genius. I am sure there are thousands of wow players out there that could benefit from a support system to help them deal with a spouse who may not be in love with WoW.

I think TTT is the perfect vehicle for this! I do not know how to get started, a "here's my situation" thread or "spousal wow support", but I am willing to bet it could help a lot of people find ways to better articulate to their spouse how WoW is healthy for their relationship.
Various talking points could be:

A) WoW gives a venue to wind down, vent frustration, and be social without having to go into a potentially negative situation like a bar to talk to friends.

B) The spouse is still available for emergencies or even small things depending on what they are doing in-game.

C) WoW is a money saver, the ultimate entertainment for a husband on a budget with a "frugal" wife (her words!) The $/hour for WoW has to make it the cheapest hobby on the face of the planet.

D)Figuring out "me time" and when is it appropriate to run Low-Commitment Content (dailies, AH, farming - things that do not impact other people and you can immediately jump up from with the only potential consequence a corpse run), Medium-Commitment Content (5 mans, scenarios, LFR - i.e. things you can leave fairly quickly but do impact other people in-game), and High-Commitment Content (Raiding and other scheduled activities others depend upon you specifically to honor your commitments). And then COMMUNICATING this to your spouse, that there are specific times you might be doing certain things and figuring out a way to make sure everyone is on the same page.

I am sure there are others, but these are all conversations that can be explored for WoW players to more effectively communicate with their spouses.

TTT is in a unique position to facilitate these types of conversations, you guys rock!

Re: Spousal Support Group

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:39 pm
by Boomy
I think this is a brilliant idea, especially for those of us whose wives/Husbands don't game, nor understand why we love WoW. For myself at least I know that it can be hard at times to fully explain why WoW is not just a game, nor like any other game out there to my wife. WoW is more of an experience one has to encounter to truly understand and appreciate it. Having a "Support Group" would be a great tool to help others out there who find themselves in similar situations.

I fully support this idea.

- Boomy

aka Jason = )

Re: Spousal Support Group

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 4:21 pm
by Jules
Hi Brewnadin!

Great idea getting this started!

This forum is for you guys to help each other out, share stories, offer suggestions, etc.. If you need help/advice/perspective from me and/or Rem, never hesitate to ask - we'll be reading! But you're here to support each other, and that's what it's all about!

/moo!
Jules

Re: Spousal Support Group

PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:09 am
by Breakdance
Yep, very glad you guys actually started this thread. I had a feeling that i wasn't the only one out there with this "Challenge." I think this support group will be very beneficial to a lot of us who are pulling aggro on their Spouses in this dungeon called marraige and the raid called life....I think this group will help the smart player who stays out of trouble but just cant shake the boss, or the not so smart player, who is by their own choice, constantly standing in the Poo! I look forward to "PUG'ing" with all of you while we try to make our way through the most epic content of them all and hopefully we can grind out some JUSTICE points!!!! :D


/Moo

Breakdance - Bleeding Hollow US.

Thanks again Rem and Jules for all you do.

Re: Spousal Support Group

PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 2:31 pm
by Sylus
I know it can be done! My wife has come around to understand wow. Granted it was a long road getting there. I started playing early on in vanilla wow. W had been married for several years, and my wife was use to having just me. I playe Star Wars galaxies back during that time, and was a very casual player. When I started playing wow, I really got into the game. I've made several real life friends who have for the most part quit, and I'm back to being a very casual player, but putting a lot into what time I do get to play.

In the years since I started playing, we have had two amazing children. My daughter who is three now, and my son who is almost two are the biggest blessings in my life, right up there with my wife of course. Before my daughter came into the picture, and after months of "why do you play that stupid game?" "When you get done with that game we can do other things." I decided to rope her in. She had occasionally watched over my shoulder while I play, ask a few questions, then mosey on. At this point she was past the "wow hater" stage, and curious about something that could pull me away from console gaming all together. (We use to play together on older stuff, but she found other interests first).

One day on what was suppose to be an ordinary shopping trip she mentioned seeing a new expansion coming out, wrath I believe. I told her it was time. I went to electronics dept, bought her a laptop that I knew could play wow, and installed the game. She played for about six months, coinciding with her pregnancy. She enjoyed the game, even if just casually.

Now, we have two little ones running around, she would rather spend her extra energy on other endeavors, and I am still here. Now, with her having played some, she understands what the game is about, and I know that right now, raiding is LFR at best, and that is a rarity! My kids and wife come first, as they do for all of you. You can bring some of them around, if you can convinced them to give it a chance.... Now THAT is the hard part!

Maybe this helped, maybe it was a wordy rant that you should ignore, you guys be me judge!

Sylus aka OldManSy

Re: Spousal Support Group

PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 6:12 pm
by jiliac
Fantastic thread all - and thank you Jules and Rem for making this available!! :)

I really appreciated Brewnadin's breakdown of WoW commitments and their varying impact. Although I am not married, nor do I have children - my girlfriend and I recently moved in together and I've tried my hardest to make our communication as clear as possible so that our time together and my personal game time don't ever become a source of contention.

So far it has worked very well, but only when we sit down once a week and literally plan out each day; I make sure to book time for raid nights and then usually do dailies in the early AM before work. But I'm not so confident yet to say that it's a surefire system - I'd like to pose this to the group and see if you think I'm headed for any pitfalls and how to avoid them.

My biggest problem (as I currently see it) is that my girlfriend simply has no desire for personal time or space, so when I carve out time for myself, she really has nothing that she'd like to do more than spend time with me. I do my best to respect that, as I love her very much and don't want her to feel under appreciated... but it makes me feel guilty for even setting aside a evenings a week knowing that she's going to be twiddling her thumbs, wishing I was available.

Plus, I've noticed that I often end up staying up late after she goes to bed just so I can have some extra time to valor cap, etc, which is definitely not a sustainable practice for me.

Anyway - great to meet you all!! I hope we can have some great discussion!! :)

Re: Spousal Support Group

PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:37 am
by Reesha9091
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Re: Spousal Support Group

PostPosted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 3:04 pm
by coddle
I have this problem. It is great advice for me :) Thank you.